Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

The Game of Life

I’ve been thinking about that board game. ‘The Game of Life’ where you travel around the board in a little car, making choices about education, career, lifestyle, partners, children etc. Doesn’t it all look so simple in the game. 
Let’s look at the game of my life; Caz went to university and became a teacher, Caz and Jon bought a house in Newport, Caz said yes to Jon when he asked her to marry him, Caz and Jon had a lovely wedding day, Caz and Jon plan to have 2 or 3 children.
Most things in my game of life could be changed with some effort if I wanted them to. If I didn’t want to be a teacher anymore, I could go get a different degree and change my career. If I didn’t want live here anymore I could move house. If I didn’t want to be married to Jon anymore, we could separate. If we didn’t want to have more children we could just not try again.
However there is an essential part of my life now that I can never ever change. Anabelle. I had no control over whether she lived or died. I wanted to watch her grow up, to mother and nurture her. That wasn’t an option in my game of life. I didn’t have any choices to make, there is nothing I could possibly do that would bring her back to me.
Life really isn’t a game at all is it.


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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