Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Double Figures

Well this was unexpected.  I thought I had a handle on the 21st of the month now, but apparently not today. I feel wobbly and weepy. The last time I felt like this about the 21st I think we had arrived at Anabelle's 6th month birthday, Christmas and New Year all in one go. Today it is 10 months. 

10 months. Double figures. 

Double figures and that is the significance; and fast approaching a year and her 1st birthday. There is just one more 21st before the big one.  How on earth has time moved so quickly it is almost a year? In some ways it feels like we've been living without her forever, in some ways she died just yesterday. Why couldn't our beautiful daughter come home like she was supposed to? 

Today I am tired and emotionally drained before I've even done anything. 

2 comments:

My New Normal said...

I sometimes feel like time is moving forward without us. Those of us who are grieving our children are stuck in some kind of time warp. Where 10 months can pass and still it feels like it all happened yesterday. I am so sorry you are feeling so sad today.

Anonymous said...

Sending you a big squeezy hug... sometimes I used to feel like my pot of emotional energy was all done before 9am and it sounds like you are in that place today. Hang on in there, you're raising amazing awareness in everything you are doing and today will pass as every other one does. Sadly nothing can bring back our children but we honour them every day in how we live our lives, Linda (PPM) xxx

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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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