Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Small is THREE!

Last month the middle boy had a birthday!

Our lovely Zachy Small is three! There is no way Zachary feels anywhere near big enough to be three mind you! My small. Still my Small, he really is a doot for his age; 89cm tall, still wearing 18-24 month trousers and only just going in to 2-3 on top. Only a size 6 shoe.  So Small, yet a month from now starts his school nursery journey! 

He doesn't seem at all big enough - at his nursery starter meeting last week the other Rising 3's seemed to tower above him! The uniform shops seem to agree he is too small too - hand-me-downs from Xander's nursery start are ridiculously oversized in 3-4 and so new uniform is being bought - I've been struggling to find 2-3 uniform still in stock - so bits and pieces are coming from a few different places. But we're getting there, jumpers and tshirts are bought. Trousers and shoes we'll think about after Christmas now. 

I'm as nervous for him starting nursery as I was for Alexander.

I thought it would be easier to let the apron strings unravel a bit this time around - but it proves that different children give you different worries and it is no easier with the nerves of starting school at all! With Xander (click to open) it was all about my own resistance to change, letting him go, worrying about others looking after him for half a day every day, I worried about him being ready of course, but I knew on the whole he would be ok; he had that kind of personality and he gelled fairly well in most situations. My compliant and easy going little boy. 

This time around I know the team that will be looking after Zac. They're vivacious and dedicated and there are no worries there, although I'll admit I'm not really ready to share him that bit more! Still I feel unnerved that he has to grow up.  I worry that  he isn't really ready.  I worry that we're rushing him. Even more than I worried that Alexander wasn't ready. Zachy is less easy-going than his older brother, much more sensitive, quick to react, quick to be upset and very much still a toddler. A baby. Oh how he will change so very quickly when he starts in school. All of a sudden he will grow up too much I'm sure. Thrive just as his big brother did after all my nerves of him starting school nursery. I hope so anyway!

My beautiful beautiful boy. Three. It sounds so big when you are so Small. I'm not ready for you to be big! But you? You love being big! You are forever telling us that you are NOT a baby. 

This is since the arrival of your baby brother. You are a Big Brother now and you love it! On your first visit to the hospital to meet him you couldn't take your eyes off him. In the beginning you called Lucas 'it' - but in the most adorable affectionate way; requesting of us that 'I hold it'. When he was brand new you didn't like it when he cried. He was too noisy! 

You make us so proud in how you care for your baby brother, you are always talking to him and giving him cuddles, or proudly telling strangers when we're out and about that he is your Baby Luc. Your Baby. So often you and Xander fall out now about whose baby brother Luc is - you not accepting that he is actually baby brother to both of you! 

There really is so much to tell you - you've had an amazingly busy six months. Learning and growing. Changing. You are so chatty to everyone. To a complete stranger in a lift, or a queue, or the cashier at a till, other children playing at the park, you'll turn around to and say 'I'm Zachary' or 'I'm Zachy'.  Your vocabulary has exploded all the more and the way you talk has changed, more grown up. Nearly everyone can understand everything you say now. It felt like your speech grew up overnight when Lucas was born. 

You have these adorable little phrases. Some are beautifully reminisent of things that Xander used to say when he was the same amount of big as you. Things like 'I not sleepy, it good morning' to his 'I not sleepy, I wake up'. You still make a 'b' sound when you should say 'v' - but it makes for the cutest expressions.  'I lub you' 'It too heaby'. 'Seebeeseebees' for CBeebies. You like to tell us who you want to talk to, most days I hear 'I want to talk to Mummy'. You are already asking 'Why?', which feels way earlier than Xander's 'Why' stage. 

At three you love Ben and Holly, you love having a story read to you, you like singing songs; my favourite at the moment is listening to you sing along to Emeli Sande 'Wonder'.  You love Happyland toys and role play, fairies and princesses and pink. I love watching you play with Xander as you discover imaginary play with him; your little people go on such adventures with you! 

You hate loud noises. Genuinely petrified of crowds shouting and screaming, noisy parties and hand driers in toilets. It is ironic really when you can make the most piercing scream that goes absolutely through me every time you make it. 

You're no longer that keen on having your photograph taken, unless you are caught in exactly the right mood! You're going through that phase. Or at least I hope its a phase because you have very snap happy parents - wrong family boyo! At the moment I'm winning through bribery and corruption or stealth photos! Haha! 

You love swimming. You are a little fish. So confident already and have been since before you were two and a half - I really should've have had this on your last blog update. You surprised us all on a family swim one day - a woggle around you and off you went, kicking your legs, trying to use your arms and speedily travelling through the water. You totally blew us away! You've started swimming lessons now and now you'll swim around with a mini woggle under each arm instead of a big one around your tummy! 

You my boy are so physically brave and fearless. You love the challenge of climbing and bouncing. I'm absolutely convinced you will be the first of my children to break a bone. Just a few months ago we turned around at the farm to find you dangling by your arms from some pretty high monkey bars. Needless to say Daddy dashed over to catch you before you let go. Gulps from Mummy. You will turn me grey! 

You are getting so independent and are as determined as ever! Absolutely refusing help now until you ask for it if you have decided that you will do something by yourself. It amuses me how much you want to try doing for yourself compared to your big brother who would be happy to still let me to absolutely everything for him! 

Zachy you are such a sensitive soul. You can be such a Jekyll and Hyde; you'll even tell us if you're feeling Happy Zachy or Grumpy Zachy! You're sensitive to the way others interact with you, you are a child who loves his own space to play and sometimes needs that space away from others. Sometimes you really struggle if someone invades your space. But equally you love the joy of the game with other children too. You're still learning how to interact with the world. You show such beautiful concern for others when you can see they are upset - you come along and ask what is the matter, or pat someone shoulder to show your concern. 

You're growing up far far too quickly. In just a few weeks you will start nursery class at school! It is going to be so exciting, new adventures, new friends, new things to learn.  More big changes! 

You are precious and brilliant and fabulous Zachy, 
and don't you ever forget it. 

We love you Small xXx 


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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