Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Friday, 15 June 2018

Zachy Is Four Point Five

It seemed only fair, that before June got deeper, or July arrived and Lucas's birthday with it, that Zachary had his four and a half update!  

It was only four posts ago that I updated all about him being four! 2018 has not been a frequent blogging year, that is for sure.  

My wonderful and complex little boy. 

All of my previous update for his birthday still rings true. He still defines himself as the 'middle' sized but big boy, still undoubtedly cheeky and funny and highly entertaining, still an absolutely rascal, still Jekyll and Hyde, still stubborn, still my sensitive one, still my worry.

I worry constantly about his self-confidence along with his apparent anxiety and how it presents itself in some certain situations (such as Sport's Day yesterday which he did not cope well with at all), his poor and what feels fairly limited in comparison to Xander or Luc's diet, (for context Luc is more or less the same weight as Zachary now, if not over-taking him!) and worrying if his lack of food quantity and variety is the reason for his small stature and frame,  among other worries of sensory sensitivities and noise sensitivity and what it all really means for Zachary or the long term.  It has broken my heart when he has got upset thinking someone doesn't like him, because he is so sensitive to the nuances of relationships and he is still figuring it all out.  Worrying that his uncooperative behaviour is his way of masking or communicating he is anxious and knowing I don't always handle that as I should and worrying endlessly that I've contributed to his poor self-confidence and anxiety. And just generally sometimes feeling a bit rubbish Mummy about it all. 

Particularly worrying at the moment of course about the transition to Reception that will be upon us in no time. My wonderfully bright boy who is astounding me all the time with his knowledge and I think will academically go far in Reception and beyond, but I'm not at all convinced he is emotionally ready and what the longer term impact that will have on him.

But then again, there is still almost three months to go and maybe my Small boy will surprise us. 

So little has changed, yet so much has happened all at the same time!

So Zachy! You are four and a half now. This has indeed been a very important milestone and in fact it is has been so important that you are insisting that I am specific with your age. If you hear me tell anyone that you are four now I am instantly being corrected that you are NOT four, you are FOUR AND A HALF. 

The half is very significant. 

You had the "best half birthday ever".  Your words! We went to cBeebies Land and you had a blast! You loved exploring Mr Tumble's sensory garden, Mr Blooms garden shed, the Tree Tops ride, playing in Tree Fu Tom's adventure playground, the Octonauts ride, Postman Pats ride, Iggle Piggle's boat ride. You were particularly beautiful thanking me and Daddy for taking your to cBeebies Land. Still my little boy who is so beaming of gratitude for the special things you have and do. 

At four and a half you are 99cm tall and 32lbs. Still my Small, but it feels like you have had a teeny tiny growth spurt at least, because your wardrobe is now a mix of 2-3 and 3-4 clothes; although all of the 3-4 bottoms need Nana adjusting or a good tie up waist! 

You have been much more settled in school on the whole, albeit apart from the odd blip. It has definitely helped that your teachers seem to know what makes you tick now and you absolutely adore your new classroom in the brand new foundation building. I love hearing about all the things you are learning and it is really clear you are excited by all the things you are learning too. You are always telling me you are learning letters and numbers.  Your writing is just beautiful, and your drawings, and how you write your numbers. Your letter formation is wonderfully clear and you love copying something that a grown up has written.  Just last week too you told me you were learning about shapes and that a diamond on its side is called a rhombus! Which I thought was a very grown up thing to know when you are only four and half. 

One of my proudest days of you since your birthday was the day you rode your scooter. The day you finally cracked it, and persevered and got speedier and speedier over the next two weeks. Oh my boy, it took you a year to transition from scooting on your little seat to scooting stood up and I literally could've burst with pride and couldn't have been more chuffed!  You are equally speedy on your PJ Masks bike too; what a little superstar. You have really cracked pedaling and scooting in the last six months! 

Yesterday was one of those blippy days though, where it has highlighted to me how painful large crowds of people watching something are for you. Sports Day. All week you have been so excited for Sports Day, coming home and tell me all the sports you had been practicing and playing in school and that Daddy was going to watch. But then when you saw all of the other parents there too it was all too much for you and cried because you didn't like all the grown ups or all of the noise there. You told me when I came home from work that it was too scary for you.  And you know what, that is absolutely ok. 

Mummy and your teacher will make sure we have a plan in place ready to help you for the next event when there will be lots of Mummies and Daddies watching and lots of ideas in place ready to help you move to Reception and big school in September.  

I am so aware you find some thing tricky Zachy. It isn't even that you are shy, because that isn't the case; you will talk to literally anyone in all manner of places. But at the moment it seems performance situations are overwhelming, change of routine and new things are sometimes overwhelming. Whether this is going to be something you grow out of with time, confidence building and maturity or whether things like this will always be a challenge for you I just don't know.  But I so desperately want you to find everything about life easier than you sometimes do right now. Regardless I promise I will always be your voice and champion when you need me to be. 

At four and a half you are very particular. You are four and a half, not four, you are quick to correct people when they get your grandparent names mixed up, or say the wrong thing. And most particular of all because you have been four you have needed four or everything. For example, biscuits. Haha. Now you are four and half apparently you need five. I'm not sure where that logic comes from.... but it does make me giggle. 

You are particular about your clothes and have very firm ideas about what you would like to wear! You do NOT like having your vest tucked into your pants or your tshirt tucked in to your trousers. All winter while we have had all this snowy weather (yes finally, your first proper proper experience of snow, snow up as far as your bottom in places!) and I've been trying to keep you warm you have been quite insistent that you do not want to be tucked in. We have had to strike deals that you will keep you vest tucked in while we're outside but you can pull it out as soon as we're inside. It is much easier now it is summer and vests are a thing of the past for the time being! The other cute thing that I must note down is that you call your t-shirt your dress; this must stem from us instructing you to get dressed! 

You are also a bit of a joker and quite often have alarmed me with the insistence that you have wobbly teeth. Talk about freaking me out because why would they be wobbly so young?! I think you can't wait to be as big as Xander! 

At four and a half your favourite colour is red. It was green for a while, and blue. But at the moment it is very firmly red. Your favourite clothes are your star trousers or your star shorts. You love your red summer star shoes. You still love PJ Masks and Owlette, you love Dragons, especially Stormfly and Astrid (from How to Train Your Dragon) and you love Lego Mini Figures. Your favourite mini figures are the ones you have named 'Rosie' and your brand new Super Girl mini-fig.  Some aspects of your interests right now are so clearly being led by your big brother but you're also finding your own favourites within those shared interests; different favourite dragons, different favourite mini-figs to Xander. 

And now the months are going to whiz by to you being five. I can't believe it is almost time for you to be in big school all day, just like Xander! 

Have a great time being four and a half my Small one, we love you completely beautiful middle boy. 

Mummy and Daddy xXx 


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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