Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Sunday, 4 September 2016


Alexander has surpassed another milestone Anabelle never got to see. 

He has started school!  

I remember how emotional I felt two years ago, on what would've been her first day at school; another day, another date stolen from us. Two years ago there was no neatly folded uniform ready for the morning, no school bag ready by the door, no excited child about the new lunch bag they were going to be able to take to school tomorrow. 

Two years ago I felt crushed because my baby girl didn't get to start school. 

Fast-forward two years and I'm emotional for the completely opposite set of circumstances.  This time my baby is starting school! I'm excited for him, beyond happy that he and we get to share this important and huge milestone. But wow, emotional - we're marking the end of his baby-hood days. Four years, ten months, three weeks of glorious infancy days. 

Now my Big is a fully-fledged school boy. 

He is ready, so ready. Every single day over the summer holidays he asked how many sleeps until he could go back to school. Last Thursday, on being told he was going to school today he actually squealed he was so excited! 

Tomorrow, after just two days of just mornings to settle in, he goes all day. 

Tomorrow morning I know his highlight will be taking all his new bags with him. His Transformer's lunch bag, his Transformer's P.E bag to keep in his locker with his kit in, his new book bag for bringing those reading books home. Xander feels like he is so grown up now he is in Reception, he is so excited to be in the big school and I'm excited for him too. This year I'm looking forward him learning to read to me - those reading books and reading journals to fill in coming home in his new book bag. 

Tomorrow; the first all-day of at least twelve years, and probably more, of full-time school. 

Tomorrow I have to share him a little bit more. Let him go to discover the world and himself a little bit more. 

A new chapter and an end of an era.

Dearest Xander, 

Last Thursday you started RECEPTION. Just for the mornings for those first two days. You were completely unfazed by the new class and your new teacher. If there was any hesitation that first morning it was so fleeting that if I had blinked I would have missed it. As soon as Mr Butcher took you by the hand you were off into class without a hint of a backwards glance. 

Tomorrow morning you will go to school and you'll be there ALL day. You're a big boy in Reception now, and that means starting school at 8.50am and staying there until 3.05pm. No more coming home at dinner time. 

You are more than ready for this new adventure, this new chapter. I know you have already been in nursery every morning for the last almost two years. But somehow, you going to school full days feels different. I feel so immensely proud and emotional in equal measure. You've grown, matured and blossomed into a wonderful little boy - you love learning, you love school, you have a thirst to absorb as much knowledge and information as you can. You are ready to be in school all day.

But I can't help but feel a little sad that now school will get the most of you.  Indeed probably the best of you while you arrive home over-tired, exhausted, over-sensitive as you adjust to a whole day somewhere else, with higher expectation of you than there is at home. Weekends will be more precious than ever my darling. They will be our days with you. 

Tomorrow marks the end of an era. You are a little boy now. Not a baby anymore. 

Tomorrow is a new chapter with those baby days behind us and you taking your first step into school age child-hood. I'm sad about all the week-time fun that you'll miss out on at home now with me, Zac and Luc.  But I know you're ready to go and do the bigger boy things now; baby and toddler classes are far too babyish for you - I've noticed you getting bored, you are ready to grow. You are ready, even if I am not! 

But although I will miss you at home, I'm so excited for you too. I can't wait for you to come home and tell me all about your days. I can't wait to discover all the things you are going to learn to do this year. We're going to be with you every step of the way, always behind you, encouraging you and spurring you on. 

You're going to have a wonderful time in school, in Reception. 

Beautiful boy. As we get ready to share you with the big wide world a whole lot more, know that we love you and we're so proud. 

One more step along the world you go. 

Always our baby, even when you're Big. 

Mummy and Daddy xx 


My Photo
After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
View my complete profile

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Blog archive


Mumsnet Badge

Written by C.E Morgan. Powered by Blogger.