After Anabelle

One month has passed, he is changing already, growing already. 

Our small boy is transforming from a sleepy newborn into a bright and alert infant, so often ready to take everything around him in. At one month old Alexander is now growing quickly out of newborn clothes and starting to wear his wardrobe of 0-3 months. He goes 3-4 hours between his feeds and in-between he enjoys time in a bouncy chair or a playtime on the floor. He enjoys being sung to and his favourite thing of all is cuddles. Alexander is finding his voice and making new happy sounds and he is already so strong; holding his head up to look around, pushing up with legs and throwing himself around in arms until he's exactly where he wants to be. 

Eager. Content. Happy.  Just an absolute pleasure to be around. 

Our lives have been turned upside down for all the right reasons this time. The world revolves around him right now and not because we're consumed by an unthinkable grief. This is how it should be; should've been for Anabelle; not the one month that included choosing funeral flowers, hymns and a eulogy. 

I can barely comprehend how we survived it. 

We're finding our way at being angel and 'here on earth' parents; finding our way in our mixed up world of  overwhelming grief vs. overwhelming joy.