Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Capture a Moment...Introducing

... Anabelle's little brother or sister. Jon and I are excited (but oh so scared) to introduce our second child.  Please meet little Baby Bow - so named as in short for 'Rainbow' because we believe this little one is putting a big splash of colour in our lives through the storm. 



This moment of reveal has taken a lot of building up to. This is the third time I've started to announce our pregnancy; twice before I've chickened out. I'm not sure why. Everything is so much bigger this time; emotionally we're incredibly fragile around the edges.    

Today we had our second scan, our 12 week scan. (We had an early scan at 7 weeks as well - when Bow appeared like a tiny little blob). This morning was special; Bow is a very wriggly baby, arms and legs moving everywhere and rolypoly's galore. This little one barely stayed still long enough for the consultant to measure, date and take photographs of him or her! Even this our second time around I was amazed by just how much you could see from a 12 week grown baby and just how much movement little Bow can already do. Anabelle was very quiet in her dating scan, she gave us a wave but for the most part stayed still and behaved for the sonographer; Bow on the other hand appeared to be having a whale of a time - very much awake and playing around. 

We've reached the stage in this pregnancy that the majority of people breathe a sigh of relief and are reassured that it means everything will be ok. For us this 12 week milestone means very little, other than we've managed to get this far. If anything it represents the very beginning of the biggest hurdles yet to come.  I don't think either of us dare to believe this baby will really be coming home but we know we already love little Bow very much, just like we did already with Belle. 

We found out we were expecting Bow on the 28th February. The most ironic thing of all is that morning I'd written a blog about my post baby body; hours later we discovered I was pregnant again - not so post baby body than next baby body now!  I'm already sporting a little bump (or not so little!) and have broken out the maternity clothes again in the last ten days. I'm getting increasingly larger and far more rounded than I was at 12 weeks with Anabelle, and I thought I was big for 12 weeks then too! 

The last two months already have been fraught with emotional ups and downs. We are of course very happy about this pregnancy, but there is a whole lot of other feelings thrown into the mix there too. Swinging between feeling euphoric to an overwhelming fear that our second baby will die too; and knowing there is nothing we can do to stop it happening. The most sickening feeling of all is that I do not trust my body to keep my baby safe. I feel immensely out of control and know this is going to be a long journey with a currently unknown ending. 

All we can but do is try and hold onto the shreds of hope and faith as they appear and enjoy the special moments like today seeing our little Bow's face for the first time. 


12 comments:

My New Normal said...

Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

Many congratulations - you have put a big smile on my face today xxxxxx

Love, Shabbs xxx

Abi said...

I'm so excited for you guys! I actually welled up!! If you're big and Bow is moving a lot, it might be a boy. My mum was massive with Benj and he moved way more than the 3 girls so she knew it was a boy haha! Praying hard for you both and your little one xxx

ChocOrange said...

Congratulations. I am looking forward to continuing our journey, and blog together!

Anonymous said...

We'll be thinking of you and Bow a lot over the coming months. I know that they will be hard for you both and that each stage will just be a milestone until you bring him or her home with you. xxx

Anonymous said...

So happy for your news, and wishing you all the best with your Beau-tiful Bow.

Anonymous said...

Lovely news Caz xxx jmc

Ava's mummy said...

Huge congratulations and what a beautiful name for your baby, so special and meaningful. xx

Nanny Davies/ julie said...

We will be thinking of you both and little baby Bow over the next few months, remember we are both here for you, anytime!!

Anonymous said...

I'm delighted for you both x

MmeLindt said...

I am so excited for you. Massive congratulations to your both. My fingers and toes are well and truly crossed that you will have an easy and uneventful pregnancy.

notyetayummymuumy said...

Now following your fabulous blog, would be nice if you followed back. We'll keep everything crossed for you xx

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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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