Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Friday, 4 February 2011


This week the Chinese nation are celebrating their New Year. Another new year. This year, in the Chinese zodiac, is the Year of the Rabbit.  Last year, the year Anabelle was born, was the Year of the Tiger.

I’ve been thinking about personality. The other day there was a post about Chinese New Year, the year you were born and if it accurately reflected you. I don’t actually believe in these things, but I do find it interesting and a bit of fun. My personality, I think anyway, has changed a lot in the last 7 months. I’ve lost myself. I used to sparkle, I’m not sure that is true now.

I was born in the Year of the Ox in 1985. In particular the Wood Ox.

"Wood Oxen work well as part of a team, but because of their work ethic, self-confidence and strong sense of morals, they’ll always perform better as the team’s leader. They do have a tendency to be quick-tempered and outspoken."

Now I tend to think this is fairly accurate.  Apart from the self-confidence, that is completely shot to bits. I doubt myself often now, lost all belief in myself when I failed to bring Anabelle into this world safely.

Jon was born in the Year of the Rooster in 1981. In particular the Metal Rooster .

These Roosters have really big egos and are forever seeking willing listeners who can help keep those egos inflated. Metal Roosters analyse everything. Their aggressive nature keeps some prospective friendships and relationships from developing.

Now I don’t really see Jon in that at all. Jon has a tendency to be ‘always be right’ I suppose but definitely not egotistical and he isn’t at all aggressive, well apart from behind the wheel of a car! Jon is far more laid back than me.

Anabelle was born in the Year of the Tiger in 2010. In particular the Metal Tiger.

“The Metal element gives the Tiger its sharpness in action and speed of thought. Tigers born in the Metal year like to stand out in a crowd. With an inspiring assertiveness and competitive demeanor, they determine their goals and then do anything necessary to achieve them. This good-looking character sometimes suffers from mood swings and temper tantrums. The Tiger can be known to jump to conclusions or to act too quickly without weighing the options or understanding the consequences. This is a flaw Tigers must learn to curb.”

We will never know how accurate a description of Belle’s personality this would’ve been. But I like that she shares the same element as her Daddy.

Both of them metals, all of us apparently strong characters.  I wish we had been given the chance to get to know who she really would've been and miss her desperately, all the time. 


Unknown said...

thinking of you

My New Normal said...

Just found you through British Mummy Bloggers and am your newest follower. I too feel like I've lost my sparkle since losing my son. Hopefully we will both find it again someday soon.

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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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