Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Meeting Father Christmas

Today was a rite of passage for Alexander; today he met Father Christmas for the very first time. It was also a rite of passage for us; today we were able to take our baby to see Father Christmas.  You see, it could be easy to say taking a 9 week old baby to Father Christmas was pointless; he doesn't understand, he won't remember but to us it was important. 

We took him because we could. Because he is here for his first Christmas. Because we're not marking his first Christmas at his graveside or with rituals of remembrance. For Alexander we're celebrating.

The rituals of remembrance and making Christmas for Anabelle goes on alongside, but for Alexander it can be different. 

So today was Father Christmas day. We queued for an hour in a wintery wonderland walk and then into the Elves workshop before meeting the lovely big man in his grotto. Alexander had a cuddle, had a fuss, given a present and had many photographs taken to remember this momentous day

Father Christmas said Xander was his youngest visitor today. It was a long wait, but totally worth it, today was so very special. 

Christmas is mixed up; we have Anabelle's Christmas, Alexander's Christmas and somewhere in the middle we have a joint family Christmas. We're discovering a new kind of Christmas. 

This year I've coped with the present buying. Not only have I coped I've eagerly entered numerous toy shops to buy a multitude of gifts for my son. Toys 'R' Us hasn't meant meltdown this year. Granted it has still meant 'avoid the pink and girly areas as much as possible' - I still barely cope with that - but I haven't been nearing all out panic attack by the time we've left the building. 

Alexander has been spoilt. For a child who will be just 10 weeks old on Christmas Day he has far too much. I admit it. We've spent a ridiculous amount of money. But you know what we will enjoy opening each and every one of his gifts with him. And that is what matters. Creating these precious memories. 

We're indulging in our baby boys first Christmas.  

It is conflicting. We are careful to separate Alexander from Anabelle; but sometimes it is difficult to let go that we're experiencing this joy, for the first time, a year too late as it were. Last Christmas was our other child's first Christmas, only we were not granted Father Christmas visits and spoiling her in toy shops. 

This Christmas is delicate; Alexander is rightfully enjoying HIS first Christmas and we're keen to make full fuss of that, but alongside he has allowed us to experience a parents real first Christmas, the one that isn't at the graveside, and that place, our parents first Christmas, was rightfully his sisters to share with us. 

This year I'm may be over-compensating; buying so much for him, because I can buy for only him. Spoiling him because I can never spoil Belle. Having a first Christmas to remember, one like we should've had with her. Alexander will be given the fullest first Christmas we can possibly create for him. 

There is no half-heartedness here. He is being doubly spoilt. Enough for him and his sister. 


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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