Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Friday, 10 June 2011

Wriggly Baby

Well after weeks of noticing little movements (which started at about 14 weeks) and deciding between them being definitely baby or maybe wind; the last few days I'm becoming more and more aware of Xander. I'd forgotten almost how alien it feels in the beginning when the little 'pops' turn into little wriggles and much bigger 'pops'. 

It is alien, but lovely and reassuring. I absolutely cannot wait to feel him move on the outside and even more excited for Jon to be able to feel his son too. 

I think it is time to start playing Alexander some music, encouraging him to respond and move around some more. It worked very well for Anabelle. The first time I finally felt a proper 'pop' that I knew definitely was her, and not wind, we were playing her music - I was 19 weeks pregnant and was euphoric that I definitely knew it was her this time and not just wind.  Its true what they say; you know the movement so much earlier on on your second baby, I've been noticing Xander pops for weeks and he is already wriggling!  

We'd bought Anabelle the Classic FM CD for babies and spent many lovely hours lying in bed with massive headphones around my tummy and watching her 'dance' to the music.  

We were in a state of romance - wanting to do beautiful things with our beautiful growing baby. I had read somewhere that music babies heard in the womb they would remember when they were born, that music stimulated development and I wanted that experience for Anabelle.

I want it again for Alexander, although we might have to buy a new CD because I simply cannot remove Anabelle's from her memory box for her brother.

Music was a big part of Anabelle's pregnancy and a special part of her funeral, personal to her and our time growing her. 

Most girls choose what piece of music they want to walk up and down their wedding aisle to; whether it be the Bridal March or something alternative (personally I went for an alternative and walked down the aisle to Jon on my father's arm to the sound of "The Swan" from Carnival of the Animals piece and back out to "So Close" from Disney's Enchanted), for us and our baby girl, the only aisle Anabelle was ever going to have was her funeral aisle in her father's arms. There is and never will be no wedding for us and Belle.

Anabelle was carried down her aisle to Gymnopedie No.1 by Satie and carried out to Stargazer by Hawes. Both really very pretty pieces of music chosen from the CD we'd bought with such anticipation and excitement to bond and interact with our unborn beautiful daughter. 

Now it is time to continue to bond each and every day with our son, interacting with him, getting to know him; because it is one of the most beautiful parts of pregnancy, falling in love with your child before you meet them, and because we'll never know if one of these days might be his last - I want even his life inside me to be as full as we tried to make his sisters.

Now, which CD shall we buy just for him, our little boy? 


Maria said...

big hug. such lovely memories.


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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