Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Friday, 5 August 2011

A Mother's Love

"A Mother's love endures through all." Washington Irving (1783-1859)

Been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions this week on the blog hasn't it? Lots of gushy mush, lots of anger. Might as well keep it up then; I'll go back gushy mush today!

There is a type of love that is impossible to describe until you've experienced it for yourself. A mother's love.  The type of love that reveals the lioness in you. It is all consuming and powerful; rising from the innermost parts of you and overwhelming everything else. The love that keeps on growing. They type of love that would make you kill and die to protect if you had to, make you vicious if you had to.  A don't mess with me, my babies or my family type of love.

The type of love that made me pull no punches in my post yesterday. Hurt me, my husband or my babies; you will pay, your comeuppance will arrive. A mother's love.

Nothing can really prepare you for the feeling. Anabelle was growing and I was falling more and more in love with this tiny little thing inside me I hadn't even met yet. I knew I already loved her unconditionally and then she arrived; Wow. The rush of love was something else. I was in awe of this beautiful tiny baby that Jon and I had made; how on earth did something so precious and perfect belong to me? Mine, ours. I cradled her and wanted to protect her forever. So much love and nothing more I could do for her. There is a saying isn't there; "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

I love Anabelle so much I wondered how I would ever have anymore love to give to anyone else. Infact I worried if it would even be possible to love any future children anywhere near the same amount, was it possible to share? It felt Anabelle had taken it all.

I needn't have worried.

Already it is obvious my love for Anabelle does not impinge on my love for Alexander and vice versa. He has his own immense amount of love already there in abundance; different, seperate but equal to Anabelle's. Evidently each baby brings a whole new individual love with them. I love him for who he is, just like I love his sister for who she is. Between the two of them it is a wonder I haven't burst yet.

I can't wait to feel that 'wow rush' again. The moment I meet my beautiful boy. A mother's love; infinite, immeasurable.

10 and a half weeks to go my little man.


Anonymous said...

Mum said when I was born, she couldn't get her head around how she could ever love another child as much but it just happens. Amazing! :) And God loves us that way too! Wow.

- Abi x

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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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