Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Anabelle's Rose

During my pregnancy with Anabelle I posted regularly on an online antenatal forum. The ladies of August 2010 - we were sharing the excitement, joys, worries and niggles together. Then in June I had to drop out from the club, because Anabelle had died and was born before her time. 

I remember shaking as my hands sent the post which confirmed my baby girl had died. It hadn't quite sunk in yet, I wrote so matter of factly that Belle had gone to sleep inside me and they were starting to induce me. I don't know what else I said. 

This group of ladies were some of the first to teach me about the kindness of strangers. A beautiful card was sent that had been made especially for Belle and had her name on the front, it was all very pink. They had sent an generous donation to Sands in Anabelle's name and had organised for a rose to be delivered to us in the Autumn. 

The rose that had been ordered was a Beatrix Potter rose. The ladies wrote and told me that they felt the rose captured the essence of Belle and her perpetual childhood. It was also going to be a soft pink colour which reflected everything we dreamt for Anabelle. Yes she was going to be very pink. 

The rose arrived and my Dad helped me to plant it, also in a pot we'd found in the garden centre called Bell. It seemed fitting. I was apprehensive that I would be able to keep it alive, and religiously kept it indoors throughout the winter incase a frost killed it off.   The rose flourished with greenery sprouting everywhere and looking very healthy. I was impressed with myself. So far so good. 

Over the last week the rosebuds have finally opened. Beautiful full roses, very pale in colour, almost white at the moment and brightening up our arrival at our front door. So I wanted to say again thank you August 2010 ladies for your thoughtful gesture. 

Just one of the beautiful roses! 

Roses have been special to us since we got married. Especially white roses.  

My wedding dress was made by "White Rose" and because of that it became the theme central to our wedding. The finer details were white roses; on the cake, on the favours, even embroidered onto my shoes. My bouquet was white roses. The essence I suppose of our day; we were surrounded by them! 

That is why it is extra special that Anabelle's rose, although we were expecting it to be pale pink, is at the moment much paler and almost white.  When we bought Anabelle's special angel bear from Build A Bear Workshop and ordered what we thought was an angel dress and halo; when it arrived in the post it was a beautiful white dress with embroidered white roses and a halo covered with white rose flower buds. It felt like a sign. I think Belle knows how special white roses are to her Mummy and Daddy. 

Our flower, reminding us of our togetherness.  Reminding us of our family. 

Today I also want to remember little Thomas William, born too soon on the 3rd May 2011, and send love to his parents on this his "goodbye" day as he joins his big angel twin brother and sister in heaven. 


zoecakes said...

Beautiful rose and thanks for mentioning Thomas William. Still trying to come to terms with the fact that he's no longer with us.

Maria said...

That's a beautiful rose! I'm looking for a rose to plant in memory of Thea. I'm told there are TEA roses.... but haven't found any. I must look on the internet for them.

Strangers can be so kind. You're right. I belonged to the ladies of April. When they heard about what had happened.... they all put angels as their avatar and wrote "For Thea...." in their signitures. They also sent a sum of money for "save the children fund" in Thea's memory. I'm so glad I met these caring mummies.


Liz said...

It's an absolutely beautiful rose x

Kate Davis-Holmes said...

Beautiful post. You are such a very special person

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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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