Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Thursday, 21 July 2011


After over half a term of madness I can finally sit down, put my feet up and relax for the summer.  Between Anabelle's Angel Day, end of term reports, parents meetings, class trips, and a whole school event that I organised I literally do not feel like I've stopped since the start of May. At times I wondered if I'd bitten off more than I could chew whilst dealing with Anabelle's 1st birthday and being pregnant again, but I've made it! 

Anabelle's Angel Day was a huge success, our final figure raised for Sands (and still without Santanders promised contribution) came to an enormous £5763.74!   And to think I thought £500 was originally an ambitious target! Really looking forward to having Santander's added contribution on top. 

We've had a busy but enjoyable end of term. Despite the pressure and madness that this time of year always brings as we prepare to shut for summer and get ready for September, everyone has had a great time on our trips and enjoyed being involved in all the activities that went on for the whole school. 

But I'm SO glad term finished today. Yes I have planning to do over the summer, and will go in for a few hours next week to finish re-backing my display boards and meet with my maternity cover. But for the most part, I can start to wind down. 

I need time for me now, and some time for Alexander. 

This week the pressure has been building. Anxiety, which has been there since my BFP, has started to take hold in a much bigger way. Third trimester is approaching and I'm scared. I don't know how to keep him alive and today it is 13 months since his sister arrived sleeping. 13 months and now over a year. I wish with every fibre of my being that Anabelle was here and with every fibre that her brother will get here. I wish I could have them both.

I need these six weeks summer holiday to focus completely on my boy, his every move. He needs my full attention now; not work, not anything else. Only Alexander needs me.  Somehow I have to keep it together. 

How I'll get back into the work zone for a month in September I don't know, but I'm not going to worry about that until then! 


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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