After Anabelle

The sun was late to appear this morning, the mist and cloud dominated the sky line and our area. Even if the sun had been there to capture I wouldn't have been well enough to go into the cold outside air to take it. This week I've been afflicted with a stinking cold and chest infection. The sun was late to burn into the sky  and I was late to rise too. Quite fitting really. 

So instead of a photo of the sun-rise, or lack there of, I'm sharing a photo of where I was at sunrise this morning; our home. 

We put this plaque up on Anabelle's 4th Birthday. We had owned the house for a month and were still five months off moving in, but we named the house for our girl on her birthday anyhow. 

Anabelle was never here. 

But she moved with us. 

When we discovered the house we were offering on was number 21 it had felt like a sign; that although we were moving away from the home where Anabelle had been, albeit only inside me, this new house had her with us too. Number 21, her number, her birthday. It felt only right that the house should be named Mehefin, June, in honour of her birthday and of course a bell for Belle. How many little girls can say a house was named for them?! 

Our house, her house. Her existence, her place in this family is ever present in this house and home. Her existence greets us at the front door, everyone at the front door, every time we arrive here. Our home, her home. 

At sunrise I was in my 21 Mehefin home this morning; I was finding the boys outfits for the day, for Jon to dress them and take them to my parents, before crawling back into bed to try and sleep illness away. 

October 1st 2015 has been mostly slept away, but I feel so much better for it this evening.  Tomorrow, God-willing, there will be another Sunrise. 

Sunrise. Capture Your Grief. Day 1.