Our beautiful baby daughter Anabelle was born sleeping June 2010.
Blessed with the screaming arrivals of our gorgeous rainbow sons,
Alexander October 2011, Zachary November 2013 and Lucas July 2016.

After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows
Heartbreak. Joy. Death. Life. But most of all Love.

Friday, 30 October 2015


Back in 2012 I joined in a blog hop called 'Reasons to be Cheerful'. Alexander was a few months old and after a year of intense grief and another year of intense grief and anxiety I was making a conscious effort to find the beauty in life again. Alexander changed so much for me. 

So I managed to join in Reasons to be Cheerful for eight weeks at the beginning of 2012 and for the whole of 2012 I took a photograph and blogged it every day. Picturing Twenty Twelve was all about  healing in its own way. Capturing the big, small, random, funny, anything moments of our days. I wanted it to be the more lighthearted side of our family.  I've continued recording a photo a day since in an app on my phone. I take multiple photographs every day, I love instagram (you've probably all noticed!). I love sharing and I love seeing other peoples photographs too.

Reasons to be Cheerful blog hop was all about Gratitude. 

Today is about Gratitude. Realising even when grief and death walk alongside this family that we still have a beautiful life. As Lilo and Stitch would put it; This is my family, little and broken, but still good.

Still good. 

So in the reminisant style of those Reasons to be Cheerful blogs, here is why I am grateful or cheerful this week. 

  • This week has been half term so I have had a week off work. I was ready for the rest and break. I've been grateful for time off work.
  • Alexander has obviously been off school and Jon booked annual leave for the week. I've been grateful for family time. 
  • Saturday we visited the library. I've been grateful for the beauty there is in reading to my children. 
  • Saturday we visited the soft play centre and Zachary went down the big slides for the first time. I've been grateful for first experiences with that rainbow boy and being able to play with him. 
  • Sunday we went to church. I'm grateful to find a calmness being part of my church community and the lovely friends I have there. 
  • Sunday we went to the park. Alexander and Zachary did some climbing up higher than ever before. Even though I was pretty anxious they were going to fall (understatement!) I was grateful to be able to watch how proud they were of their achievement! 
  • Monday we went muddy puddle jumping with a good friend and her boys. What a lovely time they all had channelling their inner Peppa Pig. I was grateful to watch how happy they were. 
  • Tuesday we went to music class. A weekly favourite for Zac. I'm grateful for music. 
  • Tuesday we visited Cardiff Museum, which included a bus ride. I was grateful for the convenience and cheap ticket of park and ride compared to car-parking and the children's joy of going on the bus. 
  • Wednesday we went to see Peppa Pig at the Cardiff Theatre. I was grateful for another day making memories. Especially Zac's utterly excited, thrilled little face when Peppa came on the stage.
  • Thursday morning we stayed at home. I put all the garden toys and furniture into the garage for the winter. I was grateful we have a garage now! 
  • Thursday afternoon we went to the farm. It was really quiet, like we had the farm almost to ourselves. The boys loved the space, it was really calm and I was grateful for that. 
  • Today we spent the morning with my online antenatal friends, what a lovely playdate! All the children played beautifully together and my friend gave me the seasons collection of 'Guess How Much I Love You' books, knowing this is Belle's story and how special it is to us. I especially love the Summer book. I'm always so grateful for peoples kindness and thoughtfulness. What a beautiful gift!
  • This evening we spent the evening with my family. Today I'm grateful for a lovely family. I'm grateful for the boys cousins on both sides of the family and the memories they are making with them too. Best photograph of the four boys on my side of the family yet this evening!
I'm sure there will be more to add before the weekend is out too. Tomorrow we are planning to go on a Treasure Hunt around a local village. Alexander was so excited about this plan that at 7.00pm tonight he decided we must dress up as Pirates tomorrow, because pirates find treasure. Outfits at the ready.... 

All in all we've had a really lovely week off,  and only 7 weeks to go until our next time off at Christmas. 

Still good.

Day 26. Capture Your Grief. Gratitude. 


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After Anabelle - Raising Rainbows. I'm Caz, Mummy to beautiful angel Belle and my wonderful rainbow boys, Xander, Zachy and Luc. Wife to Jon. Twitter @cazem Instagram @cazzyem
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